July 12, 2021

I went through with retiring on June 1st, and ever since then it’s been a roller coaster ride with many twists and turns. Absolutely nothing has gone as planned.  My 15 year old niece had been in INBH since May 22nd for threats of self harm, but was released to home on May 31st.  Her first meeting with her counselor post hospitalization was 2weeks out. I finally got to meet with the counselor and Isabella on June 28th.  I found it interesting how dishonest she is with her counselor.  Either that or she doesn’t think what’s happening in her life is significant enough to talk about, or she truely has a mentality of a 6 year old and doesn’t know how to talk about these things.  In that meeting she told the counselor she looked up to me, knew I loved  her and cared about her and all she wanted was to spend more time with me. Since then she has proven the opposite!!  She has told me in person and in text that I hate her, and I should just kick her out.  She doesn’t want to live with her mom, she wants to live on her own.  She tells me she has people who care about her and I’m not one of them.  She stole some fairly expensive items from Ron and sold them for money, which she denies; yet she blames me for her consequences.  I grounded her! It’s my fault she’s grounded, it’s my fault she’s unhappy.  I’m keeping her a prisoner in my home because I won’t let her leave the house alone.  She keeps sneaking out at night and lying about where she went. Yet it’s my fault she’s grounded.  This has to stop!! 

Then there is my 15 year old granddaughter.  She and her friend decided to take my sister’s car for a joyride at 2:00 in the the morning just 5 days after I retired and one day after I paid $2100+ to have the timing belt and tensioner repaired among other things that coincide with that.  I ended up going to Pull and Save to get a new bumper and to Spauldings for a radiator and the shroud that covers it.  After all that was redone, the AC needed to be recharged.Got that done only to find out that the radiator I got and the Air Condensor both have holes in them and need to be replaced, and as I understand it, probably the thermostat.  All the time and money I spent watching YouTube videos and doing the work to replace these items were wasted.  So now I have to spend $1500 to have this fixed.  I’m so angry about all of this.  I just had EasyPay paid down to $562 and was planning to pay it off so I’d have one less bill to pay.  Instead, I’m adding money to it, I didn’t want to spend. I haven’t told Shylar and I don’t know if I will right now.  She was in INBH, but for suicidal ideation with a plan.  She suffers from depression and anxiety and is extremely fragile.  I’ve already grounded her, and postponed her permit and driving school to her 16th birthday.  I’ll tell her eventually, but I want her to be in a good place when I do.

More later…

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